Roller Coaster

What do I feel? What is this all about? Why do I have to move? Why do I have to live? What’s the purpose? All Questions, NO answers… It has been 1 year…One year of loneliness, sadness and the all the synonymous words that suits the meaning of what we call emotional burden…

Work? I have it… Stable? Not really but still I have it…

Family? Yah but imcomplete…

Friends? I have them…Will it last forever? We all wish…

Workmates who understand? I have them…Will they forever understand? We all want to…

We smile. We laugh. We walk. We drink. We smoke. – Happy? We are not…We are all just hiding the pain…We need to hide it…We want to hide it…

Why should I tell it to everybody? Will it lessen the pain? NO…Will it make me happy again? NO…Will it take out the anxiety? NO…Will it bring back the loss? NO…

I started this writing with no answers but before I end it, I already have the answers…The answer is there from the very start – NO is the answer. ..

Resolved…

Next question please…Now, what are the reasons for me to live? NO can’t be the answer…
Improper word…Improper construction of the sentence…

I have NONE…None to live for, love for, save for…PATHETIC…

I have my sister, my strength, my reason to be strong…I’m thankful for that...I should be…
But when I’m tired, I’m weak – to whom I will run to? Nobody…So this life is what?

From here, where do I go? I don’t know…

My life is a roller coaster…

Breath in, Breath out…Feel better…Feel bad…Forward…Rewind…Pause…Play…Stop…Go…Fly…Crawl…Heeeeeew!! ! Got tired? This is my life…